Remembrance and Rebirth

How do we stay open and present when we feel most vulnerable?

Springtime has a quality of change that is vulnerable and new.

With different opposing forces trying to come into a harmonic relationship with one another. A vision of beauty that has not quite come into full being, yet. 

In springtime chaos seeks expression through change. Flow, expansion, resistance and contraction. Longing, love, intimacy and fear. Beauty, decay, life and death. Remembrance and rebirth. All work their way through us. Awakening us to the dance of life. 

Spring holds within it a longing to become something more.

There is a divine urgency to it. And as nature moves so do we. And to move through this time invites a thawing of what was held deep beneath the ground in winter. All the energy that was stored underneath the surface now begins to move towards the light and emerge.  

Like nature, we too are feeling this change and shift in tempo, and often, unexpectedly, come to face our most intimate and vulnerable fears. Whenever we approach a new phase of growth all the energy that was held together now begins to break apart, gently unfolding, pushing all the limits of our feelings and thoughts up onto the topsoil of our mind, revealing new leaf, new reach, new desire.

Vulnerable. Tender. Sproutlings. We are.

With growth comes change. With change comes both longing and fear. Soft edges that invite our attention to the areas of our life that need tending. That need our care to release the old ways.

It’s as if, with Spring, there is a subtle feeling of loss alongside the beauty of the blossoms and trees innocently acquiesce to the shedding of old pods to make way for the new flowering.  Unlike humans, for trees there is no choice in this metamorphosis. It is simply a part of the ever evolving cycle of life, death and rebirth.

I think of this and measure it up against the way we as humans choose to navigate through the change. 

Do we really let go of our old ways? Or do we cling to what is familiar and hide? Do we really allow ourselves to have a complete and utter surrender into what it is we truly long for most? Or do we put up a fight and resist the new way of being that our life is presenting to us?

For most of us we question the pleasure threshold. We hesitate with how much we can allow ourselves to feel. What requires our surrender most brings with it only more of our greatest challenge in the final letting go. And, simultaneously, alongside this irritation and conflict, rests the most powerful potential for change.

If we can allow it.

If only we can allow life to touch us, teach us and mold us into its most devoted students. 

Whether we want it to or not, Springtime teaches us the power of behind life. As we yield and listen we can learn to trust in the natural rhythm of our own inner guidance system.

Springtime reminds us to get back in touch with our most precious selves, to feel our bodies and the earth come alive. Leaning into the vulnerability of what is new for us takes practice in allowing for new forms of self-expression, intimacy and relationship to take shape in body and mind. 

It is through our body that we can learn to hold the paradox for change. To hone our inner listening skills and gain the sensitivity for inner knowing that allows for the necessary release for what no longer serves the journey ahead.

Allowing for surrender is what true guidance feels like. And this is the moment that teaches us how to love through our fear.

We do not get to choose the circumstances for how we learn these lessons. Often what is required is for us to learn how to pay more attention to ourselves than ever before. Facing our fears with greater compassion, growing more patient in moments of disappointment, and trusting in ourselves even when there is uncertainty about what we long for most. 

There is both a sweetness and an edge to our extraordinary capacity for being vulnerable in life. Our capacity to be awake in life requires our willingness to be radically self-compassionate. 

Sometimes when life presents difficulty it is wise to wait and gain perspective.

Sometimes you will have to start all over again, from the beginning.  Sometimes it won’t make any sense and it will still break your heart. Sometimes you will have to make a choice between what you need and what you love. Sometimes the circumstances around you will force you to take a closer look. Sometimes it will seem as if the odds are stacked against you, but everything is moving in your favor. Sometimes you will have to learn how to surrender all over again. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, life will break your heart wide open.

Life is asking us to make more room for oppositional truths to co-exist.

Let us welcome our desire for life.

Let us tend to our fears with greater self-love and self-compassion than ever before.

Let us allow our hearts to break open more freely with a willingness and a fervor.

For it is then that we can offer the greatest gift we have to give - ourselves, just as we are.