Metamorphosis

Artist: Dafni Planta

This past year and a half I have been walking in my own valley of the shadow. 

As I reflect back on life and choices made, I remember certain people and experiences that have shaped the journey I have been on. 

As someone naturally inclined to seek out deep forms of meaning and purpose, (in my work, in love, and in my spiritual life), I can see how every previous experience prepared me for the life I am living today. 

I would’ve never imagined that my life would take me from New York City to the Midwest to discover what the meaning of loving is, but it did.

One thing I have come to trust in, deep within my bones, is that life never gives you anything you cannot handle. 

No matter how impossible it feels, life will always hand you the exact circumstances your sweet sweet soul needs to liberate itself from the confines of what your small mind might still cling to. 

It has been a feat in and of itself to repeat this quietly to myself over and over again these last 19 months. And to actually listen to the wisdom within.

I have also come to learn about the reciprocity of power. The full on return of effort and grace given will always be hand-delivered back to you. 

This is to say that the flows of giving and receiving do very much want to be in harmony and if they remain out of balance will consistently remind you that it is time to re-align your efforts to what is most and deeply true.

What I have found lately is that my tendency to over give doesn’t work for me any more. In life, in work and in love. 

Giving more doesn’t equal receiving more. Working harder doesn’t give success. 

When you distill it all down it comes to a matter of real surrender to what is deeply true. 

Not passivity, or fleeting whims, but a true emptying out of any ulterior motive and releasing personal agendas that have the power to deliver you with willing surrender - home to yourself.

It comes to those moments when you see yourself so clearly and honestly. And honestly you are afraid… of possibly losing everything. And you can no longer fight off facing this fear. 

The only choice you have (outside of resisting) is fully giving in to what is here and now around you, supporting you. Fully giving in to the people standing there loving you through the dark shadows of your mind. 

Letting you be, until you come to. Until you can remember who you are again through what you love.

All there is is a deep letting go into the pain of loss and confusion as you say a quiet yes to the power of love that is standing right in front of you. Asking you to say yes and receive.

Oh YES honey, you can birth yourself through this next stage of life. 

Oh YES honey, you are strong enough to die this much to your old self. 

Oh YES honey, I will be here to walk with you and hold you through it.

[How many time these words were said to me by the dearest people on the planet almost every week of my life these last 19 months.]

You might know this about me, but if not I am a firm believer in SUPPORT.

Loving support is what will enable you to overcome the impossible. 

It doesn’t matter what kind of support, as long as it is the kind of support dialed in for you on a cellular level.

[My recommendation is a full team of support and as many Spirit Guides as feels appropriate and right for you. All of it helps! Therapy, coaching, energy healing, psychic mediums, astrology, drinking from the holy water wells… you name it.]

Whether your support comes through a stranger on the park bench (true story for another time), or on the heavenly wings of spirit, or from the beauty of wind and trees, or your lover’s arms around you, or the consistent heartfelt words of encouragement from your friends, family, and healers beyond… loving support will help you get through any impossible situation. No matter how angry you are or how invisible and withdrawn you may feel. I promise you.

Given that I am a person wired to give support, really being willing to receive support has always been hardest for me.

This has been a tough lesson in the past, and it was hard to fathom how far it would ask me to yield now. But it did.

And in the process I was asked to lean all the way in to face my deepest fears around being vulnerable in love. 

I had to lean in to the unknown vastness of my feelings in ways I never encountered before. I leaned in so far, deep, and wide, and learned that there is true grace when you need it.

This time spirit was handing me the curriculum on how to trust in the love being offered. Friends. Family. My Partner. And even my work were the graces that saved the day and had shown the way.

It has been through loving and being loved by the people in my life that has brought me a renewed awareness about myself and my capacity as a woman to be who I am here to be.

I thought honestly I had been through the dark. I thought I had worked through my pain. I know I have transformed my life 1000 times over in the span of 46 years. 

But nothing comes close to facing your fears around loving and being loved. 

This year has been a force of nature. It has brought me the velocity of love and its every opposite.

Facing the feelings of deep unworthiness in love with someone willing to look with you and embrace you is new to me.

Many years ago an astrologer told me that a true partnership would only come after I had established success in my work and business. Looking back now I see how and why this was true for me.

If I hadn’t gone through the process of radically accepting what I wanted out of my life and creative work to absolutely transform my work and business, I don’t think I would’ve been ready to dance this tango we call sacred partnership. 

You see it doesn’t matter what area of your life challenges you, your particular direction life, the evolution and curriculum you will undergo, that is unique to you will always be pointed out to you by your soul.

You will know it by what hands you the boon of ecstasy and the undercurrent of grief at the same time.

Whatever challenges you is here to undoubtably grow you. And the challenges given will be exactly positioned to grow you into the next level of your gorgeous self. 

The ways in which your heart and soul are ready to grow will be prompted by the expansion underway. 

So some questions to ask yourself are:

Am I on board with this change?⁠ (What parts of myself are not?) ⁠

Am I paying attention to the signs of growth? ⁠(Where might I be holding back?) ⁠

Am I open, willing, ready to embrace myself and support from others along the way? ⁠(Where do I resist this?) ⁠

Do I have the support I need to encourage me, to help guide me?⁠ (human/spirit) ⁠

Am I ready to know my shadow? (Ready to reclaim yourself?)

Am I ready to find out what true self-love feels like?⁠ (And get to know how every opposite aspect of love is here to grow me?)

It is 100% worth it to try.