Remembering Our Softness

Photo by Tomoko Nagakawa

We cannot be soft if we do not feel safe.

We cannot feel safe if do not feel we belong inside this body.

Coming home to ourselves in body is the first step in remembering who we are.

Remembering our softness is essential for feeling guided and supported.

~

Let us sit. Let us soften. Let us remember who we are.

Self knowledge is not about acquiring new facts about ourselves. Self knowledge is an act of remembering. It is an act of coming home to the self. It is a softening into the self.

We live in a world that prides itself on productivity and rewards performance. Living from your inner knowing means honoring who you are first. Being able to discern between what the world says and what you truly need.

Belief - your faith - living true to yourself - your heart - comes from a deeper level of feeling. Feelings are the sign posts that guide you in deeper to your innermost knowing.

Feelings can help you navigate complexity between pleasure and pain. Feelings are part of your unique guidance system. They inform you about whether or not a healthy boundary is being honored. They help you measure and create secure belonging from inside yourself. Pain and pleasure are both guidance. The human experience is the full spectrum in between and beyond.

So how do we create the safety we need to feel in order to ride through contractive states of being? How does trust work when we feel hurt, insecure challenged?

Here we invite and practice compassionate self-awareness and asking for support.

If we can first pause long enough to witness the state we are in without judgement, unconditionally, and throw out all the rules of how you think you should feel, we have a chance at being with how you do feel.

Let the breath guide you back into your body. From this supple presence allow whatever is here for you to arise. Slowly. Gently. Lovingly.

Observe the reveal.

Perhaps writing/speaking this out in a stream of consciousness journaling exercise would be useful. Stay as neutral as you can. Simply observe yourself through your senses (thought patterns and feelings) and record.

In the beginning let go of any agenda to understand. Just feel. As you allow sensation, thought, feeling to move what constellation of behavior is uncovered? How is consciousness behaving? Bring a soft inner gaze here. Bring your kindness to this place in you. If there are judgments notice them too. Write them down if you need to. Notice what you notice. All of this is information for you. All of this provides resource.

Observing our patterns of judgement from a neutral state of being is a powerful way to return to a state of greater compassion for ourselves.

As you allow sensation, thought, feeling - how are they moving? Is there a particular area of tension in the body that is being highlighted for you? Bring your tenderness there. Bring your breath there. Bring your love to this place in you.

Imagine awareness as a kind and gentle friend from within. Keep your inner gaze soft. Witness. Openly. Fluidly. Receptively. Kindly. Notice when a judgment or old story wants to shut the process down. Pause. Breathe. Rest. Presence it. Begin again.

Awareness.

Remembering.

Softening.

Come back to curiosity about what is here for you. Gently inquire, how is this experience here for me? What is the true need I feel underneath?

What would kindness towards yourself be like for you? What would a gesture of self-love feel like here for you now? Notice: Is there any hardening? What is it like? What does it need to remember its own softness underneath? Can we practice letting go together? 

What what would happen if you allowed support?  What would wholesome support be for you? 

What would help you feel safe enough to let go, to welcome a softening?