Raw Tender Self

Over recent years I have come to realize that the more you settle into yourself, your true, authentic, raw, tender self, the more life brings you what you need.

We may not always be aware of what we need. We may actually confuse true needs with striving for results.

What I’ve come to notice is that the more we strive for the results we “think” we want or “should” want the more we might miss the point.

As a conscious business owner, dedicated healer and entrepreneur, I know that kind of striving well. Tracking my own experience with patterns of lack of trust or disbelief usually show up in ways that reveal where I feel insecure or disconnected from support.

Striving doesn’t get you where you are headed. Being present does.

There is such power in our ability to slow ourselves down and become mindful of what’s really going on underneath the surface of “being busy” all the time.

When we become present we can notice what is arising for us. We can be with the question: “What matters to me? What do I really want?” .

From this present moment awareness a whole set of new choices becomes available.

I recently sat with a client in a session who has cultivated a lot of career success as a psychotherapist. There was a lot of processing going on around what was important to her in her life and career. As the session unfolded, she became aware of the need for spaciousness. A need so palpable that I could feel it in my own body. A need for slowness and spaciousness around what she was feeling so she could sense more deeply into what was true for her.

The more I offered spaciousness the more clearly she was able to receive herself.

An epiphany arose around an opportunity for a prominent speaking engagement she had recently received. As sat with it, and truly felt the possibility resonate in her system, she knew she did not want to accept it.

Even though on the outside the offer looked like an incredible opportunity for career advancement, on the inside it felt out of alignment with her values and the pacing in life she wanted.

It was a profound realization for her that touched me deeply. And it is one I see often in the world of business coaching.

Sometimes that shiny object looks like it’s going to be a great business opportunity. Then we give ourselves time and space to roll it around in our consciousness a bit more and recognize it may not be the thing at all.

Making important decisions about your career from a pressured or rushed attitude isn’t always wise. Sometimes we feel we have to make impulsive or daring decisions because there is a need to make money, or there may be status attached, or an ingrained belief that without risk we won’t get anywhere.

But does the choice you are making really bring you joy? Does it really set you free? Is it really aligned with the deeper purpose you feel you are here for? 

Many times in a coaching session a client will come to realize that the work they do does not fulfill them. An often uncomfortable prospect arises that maybe the career track they are on is not actually for them or they have out grown their position. In this moment they realize some significant changes may need to be made and perhaps the path is not yet quite clear.

This moment of recognition is so important. It is the moment they have themselves. They have the self awareness that things have changed, they have grown, and they are ready for something new, maybe even something all together different.

Same is true for relationships. Sometimes when we really take a look and feel what we feel, we realize the way things are going can’t continue, our agreements need an update, and maybe even bigger changes are under way than we initially thought.

The more you can honor that truth for yourself the more opportunity will come your way to reflect what you truly long for.

When you allow for a quality of spaciousness to guide you, your body can soften, your mind opens, and your heart connects you to the purpose you are here for.

Right here. Right now.

Remember, wherever there is instability, there is an equal invitation to create stability. Wherever there is self-doubt a seed for deeper self-trust is wanting to be planted.

The key is learning to pay attention to the signals in your life that are guiding you. Listening to the raw data available and interpreting later. Guidance comes in many forms. Sometimes in the form of little tiny deaths along the way. Inviting you to surrender. Showing you what is ready to let go.

Destruction is the precursor to revelatory creation. Have courage. Don’t go it alone. Reach out for support.

The path is there I promise you.

Even when all you can see is the rubble on the ground from the tower that is falling.

Wishing you steadiness, ease, and evermore grace through this tumultuous time.

Andrea