What is it you long for most?

When all else has fallen away.
When your will has been broken down.
When there are no more excuses to hide behind.
You will have arrived in the place of your truest longing.

~

Lately, all I have been thinking about is how incredibly changed I feel by this time.

In the last month I've really felt my own exhaustion. A tiredness that feels like its been waiting for me to tend deeper and more deliberately to my own well-being. To care more about what is simple and life affirming. To care more about what I can do to help AND take more care in how I do that.

How about you?

For someone like me who wants to push past her own feelings and tend to everyone else's I consider this a marvel feat.

A trueness about my own need to pace myself has revealed and made itself known even as the world around me does something different.

Last night in the middle of the night the words “Remember Who You Are” woke me from my sleep. A brief interlude with the stars to remind me that a deeper process is underway and continues to unfold.

These days I find myself asking different questions. More intimate than before. I am learning once again to slow down, feel myself and notice my place in this world.

On the surface the things of my life look relatively the same, but from within I feel a stirring change, a movement and desire. This divine urge (as I like to remember it) is sincerely asking me to listen in at a deeper level. To notice the creative need in soft, subtle and more intimate ways. To honor my own inner longing and be true to it more than before.

Desire is an emergent energy I love so much. And I can certainly get caught up in the FOMO and "what's next" syndrome of creating. But, this time a newness is underway that is asking me to sync up with my creative desire and not push. It is an important feeling. One I can feel before I can see.

As exciting as this is, it is also bewildering.

With time I have come to understand that this is my path. I am one who is devoted to the creative process unfolding from within. For me it is the creative process that yields our most spiritual understanding of life.

It has taken me years of practice (hard work, loss and struggle) to understand, know and trust my own creative rhythm as a spiritual practice. And now even more so as my purpose in life. It is deep and wide, vast and varied, rooted in wild territories of the unknown. The blessing has been to see it and to have built a sturdy and steady home for it through my business and professional healing, coaching and mentorship work.

I am much quieter these days and I feel more deeply connected than ever.
Grateful for this and very clear about the direction ahead of me.

I am happy for the people I know who have felt excitement with the coming of summer, the opening of travel, and reconnection with friends and family.

Yet, I feel like so much of me wants to move in a different way.

I feel myself longing for deep contemplative time. For time to process my own feelings. I long for a period of pause and integration. I long to write much more often. The fertile void, the desert and the silence call to me. I want deep connection with others and I foresee a new path with many more meaningful and intimate ways of being here.

Alive.
Vulnerable.
Emotionally Available.
and Truthful.

What I feel my soul longs for is an intimacy that is my own. Intimacy is the most fecund space I've known. The most creative and abundant.

Despite what the world may do, I want to honor the truth of what I feel. To build a home for deeper connections and truths to be known. For more community around work that helps heal.

We need this.
We need more ways to remember who we are.
We need more ways to live from the level of our heart and soul.

What are you longing for?
What does your heart want most?
What is calling you from deep within?